3 Reasons Why Your Child Behaves Better at Day Care than at Home

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Have you ever heard your child care providers tell you what a sweet child you have, only to encounter a meltdown on the way home, a picky eater during dinner, and a monster at bedtime? You may wonder why your child seems to behave well when they are at day care but doesn't show the same self control and respect when they are at home. If you often wish that your child's behavior was more consistent between caregivers, there are three things you need to understand. 

Role Modeling and Peer Pressure are Important Aspects of Toddler Behavior 

Your child attends daycare with several other children, some of which may be older or more socially developed than your child. This gives your child plenty of role models that they want to emulate when they are at school. Because of the structure at daycare and the other children following instructions, it is easy for your child to figure out what is expected of them. For example, it may be easier for your toddler to take a nap when he or she sees all of their friends preparing to sleep as well. 

At home, your child's choice of role models is much more limited than it is at school. Often, their time may be less structured than it is at daycare and you may have to complete tasks that are inappropriate to involve a toddler in. This can make your child frustrated, which can cause boundary-testing behavior.

To reduce power struggles, try to involve your child as much as possible in what you are doing. Let them help cook dinner or clean the living room. Alternatively, when you ask them to do something, model the behavior you are seeking. For example, when you ask for them to put away their toys, take the time to help them or pick up your own area in the house. 

A Full Range of Emotions Shows Deep Trust 

A concern that some parents have when their child only misbehaves at home is that their child does not like them as much as their daycare providers or that they are less adequate at providing structure and discipline than their child's teacher. While your child's teachers are trained in child development, it is very unlikely that your child prefers their teachers over you. In fact, if your child tends to act up around you, it may mean that they feel securely bonded to you because they feel most comfortable releasing strong emotions around you. 

Of course, it is not ideal for you to experience the majority of your child's pent-up negative emotions every day. To make sure they find positive outlets for their emotions you should check to make sure that your child is developing healthy secondary attachments with their day care provider.

Try dropping your child off at daycare early and watching them interact with their teachers. If you notice your child being distant or avoiding interaction, talk with their caregivers about ways you can make your child more comfortable at day care. 

Time of Day Can Affect Behavior

Children tend to be most cooperative when they are well-rested and fed, which is how you drop them off at day care in the morning. Unfortunately, when you pick them up, they may be tired from playing all day and ready for their evening meal. This makes positive interactions more difficult. 

You might consider adjusting your child's schedule so you have more time to spend with them in the morning. Also, make sure you have a snack waiting for them in the car or when you get home. 

While your child may have more tantrums around you, it is also likely that they have greater experiences of joy and discovery around you as well. While you work through the difficult times, make sure to concentrate on these positive experiences. 

13 July 2015